Room 33 is a rather mundane episode of this seasons American Horror Story. It doesn’t do a whole lot for the arch (as of yet), and seems to do little more then add more debauchery to the already hedonistic storyline.
The episode starts in the late 1920’s as the Countess arrives at the Murder House (from American Horror Story Season 1) to have an abortion performed by Charles Montgomery (also from season 1). The Countess claims to be only 3 weeks pregnant, but looks much further along. We find out when the nurse takes her temperature that she is already vampiric. The unanswered question is was the Countess pregnant when she became infected with the vampire virus, or can vampires become pregnant? Either way, the Montgomery removes the unborn thing from the Countess, and it then kills the nurse. Never clearly showing us what Bartholomew is, we learn that it is still treated as the Countess’s infant and is kept in room 33.
Meanwhile, Liz Taylor is having a romp with Tristan (and clears up his comment about not being gay from last episode by claiming that he is a woman… I guess I do not understand the transgender community properly). Liz seems to be in love with Tristan and they are both concerned about how the Countess will handle the news of their affair. This is something they don’t need to worry about yet, as the Countess is heading off with Drake to Paris.
John finds the coffins and Alex and Holden inside while roaming around in a drunken stupor. Alex sedates him, and while he is out, gets Liz to help destroy the coffins. When John comes to, Alex shows him the now empty pool where the coffins used to be, and convinces him he is loosing his mind.
Donovan and Ramona show up to the hotel Cortez to start their plan for vengeance. Ramona wants to kill the kids, while Donovan just wants to sniff the Countess’s panties. Unfortunately for Ramona, Alex has already moved the kids. Donavon, however, finds the panties, and while he is sniffing away, he runs into the tourists from the first episode. He tells them a story about finding a purpose to break the monotony of immortality. And they run off to have three ways, and murder sprees.
Ramona decides that if she can’t kill the creepy blond vampire kids, she will kill Bartholomew. So she heads up to room 33. She fails miserably, and little Bart escapes into the hotel.
After killing some random hotel guest, the tourists are instructed by Alex to make men go mad with their three ways instead of murdering them. She then sends them after John. John has a bloody good three way that seems to send him over the deep end. He packs his stuff and heads out of the hotel. Unbeknownst to him (or anyone else) little Bart has stowed away in his luggage.
John goes home and picks up his daughter, Scarlett, on the way (who has apparently been at a friends since mom abandoned her to be with Holden (I’m not a parent, so maybe I just don’t get this either, but isn’t it strange that a mother who would do anything for her son would have such little regard for her daughter?). While Scarlett sits on the couch and plays video games, John spy’s Bart in the kitchen and takes a few shots at him. This scares Scarlett half to death.
Scarlett gets sent off to Grandmas, while Alex convinces John to seek therapy. Alex then finds little wounded Bart in the bushes, and brings him back to the Cortez.
Back at the Cortez, the Countess has returned, and Liz try’s to explain to her his love for Tristan. The Countess doesn’t take it to well, “I don’t share” she proclaims. But Liz and Tristan are persistent, so the Countess lets Liz keep his new love… after she opens his throat and kills him.
The Countess then heads off to room 33 to find Alex sitting with little Bart. The two of them share a motherly bonding moment.
Sadly, Sally was absent from this episode, and we only had a short glimpse of James March, and Iris. Ramona had a decent part in this episode, and may have been it’s saving grace. The return of the first episodes tourist girls was a nice touch, but seemed unnecessary for the plot, and almost a sad attempt to add some T&A. The little Bart storyline seemed like little more then an attempt to add some third rate horror into the show, but could bear fruit further down the season. Overall, this wasn’t a bad episode, it just wasn’t that good either.